Me and the FBI

I have today received the funniest spam/scam email! Thanks to GMail for sending it direct to my spam folder, but when I checked the folder I just *had* to open and read this one. The reply-to email was federalbureauo@superposta.com. Hee!!  And it was all in bold font. The hilarity has to be shared in full, so here goes:

THIS IS THE (F.B.I)

http://www.fbi.gov

FBI Headquarters in Washington, D.C.

Federal Bureau of Investigation

J. Edgar Hoover Building

935 Pennsylvania Avenue,

NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001

14/11/2011

FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI)

 

ATTENTION :   

 

We have been directed to inform you that we have been monitoring all your contacts with some fraudsters/impostors on the internet that claims to be working for the Nigerian Government and the FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATIONS (FBI) and this agency which is HOMELAND SECURITY SERVICES AND THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY (CIA) has been on your aid in other to protect you from being prosecuted by the International Crimes Department by asking you to secure the FREE CITIZEN CERTIFICATE after the Clean Bill Certificate has been issued to you previously by the FBI as we have it here in our database but instead of you doing that you still continue you contact with the Criminals on the internet that claim to be working for the release of some fraudulent funds to you.

 

You are suppose to have been arrested earlier before now by the CIA following the orders that were given by the International Crimes Department, the Nigerian Government has been contacted on this development and they are also helping us in tracking down on the criminals that has been confusing you all this while.

 

So right now all you need to do in other to protect your image and that of your entire country is to get the FRAUD CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE as you have been warned because we are suppose to carry out the arrest on you today but due to the fact that some assignments was carried out by the fraud department of the FBI, it has been canceled and the new date would be announced later.

 

This is the final notification that i would be sending to you because we already have all your details/information and you ID in our database which would be forwarded to the WORLD COURT as your name has been enlisted in the WORLD SCAM RECORDS as a top 11 fraudster.

 

For the last time we are advising that you stop any further contact with any person or group of persons that claims to be working for the issuance of your funds because no such funds exist as far as we are concerned and the only funds that was entitled to you of which the FBI has been given the necessary order to necessitate the transfer is the compensation funds which is valued at the sum of $12million usd that was issued to by the Nigerian Government to compensate you for the embarrassment and insults to your personality which the Nigerian Fraudsters used your identity to dupe a German business man of a huge amount of money and which we are still investigating until this moment.

 

If you know that you really want to save your life and the future of your family, we are advising that you secure the FRAUD CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE so that your name can be shortlisted from the scammers list which has already been submitted to the International Crimes Department and this certificate will give access to the issuance of your compensation funds.

 

We have also spread our networks to the following countries which are Australia, Canada, Africa, United Kingdom, Asia and Poland.

 

All the people that have their names in the list would be inset in our website any moment from now because we are charged to wipe away all the fraudulent transactions being held on the internet in which many people have lost their lives and properties.

 

So it will be better for you to update us on the actual date in which you would be able to make the payment of $100 Usd to the agency over there in Nigeria for them to issue the FRAUD CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE to you because that is the only guarantee that would make us believe that your name and ID was really forged and not real as claimed because the German Business Man has contacted all the Crimes Agency on this matter and it was your ID that he has placed in all the Crimes Department for a search of you.

 

This Certificate will be attached along with the previous Clean Bill Certificate so that the attorney who is handling this process could get everything mandated as you have only 12hours to co-operate with this directives and this last Certificate as stated by the issuance department would cost you the sum of $100 Usd and this fees should be paid within a short while from now on.

 

The payment should be sent through either Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram Transfer with the below details:

 

Receivers Name: REMS UBOCHI

Location:ABUJA  NIGERIA

Text Question: WHAT FOR

Text Answer: RED

Amount: $100 Usd.

 

The payment details should be sent once the payment has been sent and don’t forget to include the Senders Name and Address and the MTCN NUMBER.

 

This is our advise to you and we do hope to get a positive feed back from you as soon as possible.

 

BEST REGARD

AGENT WALTER SKINNER

FBI SPECIAL AGENT FOR CRIMES/FRAUD

 

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Flying commercial

Pardon the link instead of an embedded video, but you might enjoy this CNN clip about the rich and mighty who are being reduced to – flying commercial instead of on private jets.  Which covers the JetBlue ads aimed at that new customer base. Note to self: fly somewhere on JetBlue soon, just because.

Last Saturday, before I’d heard of the JetBlue ad campaign, I was working a shift as a volunteer hospitality Ambassador at DEN. Wearing the white Stetson and other gear, acting as kind of a talking directional sign and otherwise answering questions and trying to be helpful to the public out there. It was a pleasant day. People heading home after ski vacations, youngsters heading out for spring break trips.

As I watched all the folks moving through the place that morning, I wondered how many of that day’s commercial passengers would have been flying on private jets this time last year. But they, or their company, or their father-in-law, had given up the plane. Of course, one keeps those thoughts to oneself.

But there was this middle-aged couple, she carefully made up and sporting an ankle-length fur coat.  That sight caused me to contemplate during the next quiet moments: if one simply must take a big long fur coat on a commercial plane trip, what to do with it? Wear it, and look like a poseur who would be flying private if you really had that kind of money? Check it and risk a theft? Stuff it in your carryon bag, leaving no room for anything else?

Better yet, my advice if you’re coming to Colorado: get a full length down coat and stay just as warm without the bother.

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Random

Habits. I have lots of bad ones. I used to have a blogging habit but I lost it over the winter.

Before I rush off to face the day, after remembering to do my stretches now that I’m old enough to *need* them every day, I’ll share this “Headnote of the Day” from the legal publishing empire, West:

Where defendant had argued that commission of the crime in the manner asserted by the State would have been foolish, prosecutor was properly permitted to argue that it is nowhere written that a criminal has to be smart.

Marshall v. State, 438 N.E.2d 986 (1982

Could this be the rebirth of my blogging habit?

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The old me is fine, thanks.

OK, people, I read or hear one more iteration of “New Year, New You” and I throw a hissy fit. The world has been warned.

They can keep whatever “new” version of me it is that they want to sell me. In a package of makeup, or a new outfit, or “body-firming” undies, or some other product.

I’ve spent several decades working with, and on, the old me. And she’s just fine, ticking over pretty well, and not in need of being traded in on a new me. Sure, regular maintenance is important, and the occasional major tune-up, plus paint and buffing, but the old me isn’t going out on the lot with the other trade-ins just yet.

If you understand what I’m saying here and feel the same way about the old you, I think you will enjoy this piece just out in The New Yorker.

Unless you traded your funny bone to the devil for a pair of  lifetime-guaranteed-firm thighs. In which case I fear you may post it on the front of your fridge. As an action plan. Which would frighten me very much, so please take it down if I’m going to come over to your house. Thanks.

Full text below the fold in case the link goes kaput.

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Today’s favorite tweet

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What font are you?

Find out here.

I’m Times New Roman.

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Today’s best tweet

From expat-erin. Whom I do not know, online or IRL:

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Dog in the moment

Cold and snow have come at last.

Jasper loves to run and romp in the snow. He plays with it, he plays in it.

At my end of the leash, load of dull thoughts: iffy status of Thailand trip, things that must be done today, things I’d like to do instead, tomorrow’s schedule, state of health, unresolved issues of all kinds, memories, hopes.

At Jasper’s end of the leash, just the moment. Curiosity. Joy. Sniff the snow, sniff the grass, run leaping fast across the snow on the lawn, stop and sniff, look back to mom, run faster mom, let’s go down that way, stop to look at man walking on sidewalk, shake off snow, see man with dog and run toward them half block away hitting end of leash fast, come on mom, now stop to sniff again, look back at mom, run fast up all those steps to the front door. Stop wait for mom.

Wonder if I’m at the end of a leash held by something too big for my little mind to encompass. Wonder if I can let go and be just in the moment, safe on the leash.

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Antidote

OK, I admit it. I’m an obnoxious besotted dog-owner. In case there’s any doubt about that after I posted that professional portrait of Jasper the other day. Where he’s lounging on a pillow looking alertly at the camera, and looking way too sweet for any real life dog. Including Jasper himself.

Leave it to FurGirl to bring us the antidote to the saccharine. I just adore the picture of her lounging all over her puppy house-mate’s new bed, with a paw resting on a pillow. Just click here to see what I mean. She looks calm and regal, with a bit of “don’t mess with the Queen” attitude that works with her good looks.

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Not so fast about the teeth liberation

I enjoyed just exactly a week of teeth liberation. No braces, no plastic tooth coverings, no foreign objects in my mouth all the time.

Well all that’s over. Yesterday I was fitted with upper and lower retainers at my orthodontist’s office. I’m supposed to wear them 24 hours a day for six weeks, and each night after that.

Of course, they feel awkward and have already rubbed a sore spot on my tongue. In fact, the best they feel is awkward. I woke up this morning with my mouth actually *hurting* and it felt so good to take the damn things off for coffee and breakfast.

And then there are The Rules:

1. Don’t drink anything except water when wearing the retainers.
2. Don’t eat when wearing them.
3. Brush your teeth before putting them on after you have eaten or had anything to drink other than water.
4. Brush the retainers before you put them on each time.

Which means the whole rigamarole of taking them out to eat or drink. Of course, it’s gross to do it in front of anyone so I have to find a bathroom or some private place to do that. Then after eating and drinking comes the second act of the rigamarole  – again in a bathroom of course: brushing my teeth and cleaning the retainers and putting them back in.

It can be challenging enough when I’m just at work and going places around town. Anyone who’s sized up the ladies’ room in a restaurant, service station or office building with the idea of brushing teeth in it knows that there are some of them in which teeth brushing is just not gonna happen. Ewww. Of course all that is extra fun when traveling, as I will be for two weeks. In Thailand. Where we are told not to brush our teeth with the tap water.

I just hope I don’t end up ruining my nice new straight teeth. I keep reminding myself that during my two year adventure in orthodontistry, almost every single person I’ve talked to who had braces at any age? Spontaneously advised me to be sure to wear the retainers, and some of them added that they didn’t wear theirs enough and regretted it.

But, oh golly, right now it sure does hurt.

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Liberation Day

Nothing to do with politics, that title, although it is also Election Day.

Nope, the liberation is immediate and physical.

I just got home from my orthodontist’s office. Where they took my braces off.

Woot!!

They had to numb my entire mouth to do it (my poor mouth is sensitive to all the air and cold water involved in grinding off the glue on each tooth that had anchored the metalworks), and my lips still aren’t working right. 

But my teeth? Look pretty good if I say so myself. Need another good cleaning at my dentist’s (scheduled for Monday), and we’ll also be discussing and I hope doing some whitening. But even without that I’m happy with the outcome. All told it’s been 23 months: starting with Invisalign and then ending up since February in metal braces. Soon to be followed by wearing upper and lower plastic retainers. They took the impressions this morning and I’ll go back next week to get the retainers.

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Treats

Why don’t I listen to my own good sense? Saturday I found myself thinking that lately the quality of my daily diet has declined. I’ve been hitting the sweets too hard and “indulging” too often in fatty snacky foods. With my trip to Thailand only 60 days away, I told myself “my real treat is a two-week vacation in an exotic place on the other side of the world, so I don’t need to pollute my system with a bunch of Kit Kat bars and ice cream sundaes.”

But? Saturday afternoon, I absent-mindedly scarfed up some of those Halloween-sized candy bars as I sat down and relaxed after a five-hour volunteer stint at the Big Top. I wasn’t too wiped out: it had been pretty quiet, the day with the lowest projected passenger traffic of the week (around 120,000 if I recall correctly). I had some nice conversations with the young TSA guy who’d been assigned to hang around the same spot I was working.  Turns out we own the same kind of mini-laptop. I did my best to let him answer questions from all the young women and took care of the older folks. 

By bedtime I felt distinctly unwell, and by Sunday morning I was Officially Sick. Digestive upsets, a fever of 101 degrees F and a lot of aches all over. Yep, I was one miserable human unit.

Not to say the candy caused it. But I swear, at this moment I would prefer starvation to consuming a single piece of chocolate candy. Bless my neighbor for walking the puppy for me yesterday, ’cause I really did not feel up to much beyond consuming Vitamin Water and nibbling saltines and taking Advil and napping.

Happily, this morning the fever is gone. I still feel kind of wobbly, but was ready for more of a first-thing-after-getting-out-of-bed walk than Jasper was. Seriously: after we’d been out for a few minutes and he’d had his big pee, I turned to head down the block as we usually go and then realized he’d scampered back up the steps in front of our building. Huh? I tried to convince him we could walk more, but he just wanted to come inside. This is all opposite from normal: Jasper wants to stay outside approximately forever and I have to herd him back home after awhile. (Maybe he knows I’m thinking of dropping him off at doggie day care on my way downtown and wants me to get on with it and get him there?)

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16 Days

Powerless. I don’t know the meaning of that word as vividly as some people I know. Mainly my sister. Her house in Houston came through Hurricane Ike essentially unscathed.

But the electrical power went off. Three huge power poles down the street from her house were snapped like twigs during the storm.

Her house was without electrical power for 16 days. Yes:  SIXTEEN DAYS. She was able to buy a small gasoline-powered generator in order to have a few lights and a fan or two running, and could run the fridge off of it.

But she often didn’t bother to run the fridge. Because it’s still hard to find food to buy in Houston, and pretty much impossible to cook at her house without electricity. 

The electrical power was restored at my sister’s house on Sunday afternoon. Day before yesterday. She’s tired and lost money due to lost work days and extra expenses, including eating out and doing laundry at laundromats and buying gas for the generator. And all that crap.

Last night she said her cable internet service is working again, the cats spent Sunday afternoon and night in blissed-out slumber in the once more air-conditioned house (she thinks that neither of them moved an inch for literally hours), the dogs are happier too, and after the power came on she had a nice long sleep too. At least, all she needs to do now is serious housecleaning, not serious home repairs. 

People, this happened in Houston which is 40 to 50 miles inland, not in a town right on the coast. One of our nation’s largest cities. It wasn’t wiped out like New Orleans was by Katrina, but I am really bothered that it was possible for so much of a major city’s infrastructure to be wiped out by a single storm and for restoration to take so long.

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Relieved

I came home this afternoon to find a voice mail from my sister in Houston. The storm’s now passed and its only damage at her house was a board off the fence. No flooding, and not as much damage as some of her neighbors’ homes suffered (trashed trees, roof shingles ripped off, and even several garage doors blown off which she said really surprised her). There’s been no electricity since midnight, and that could turn into a big issue later, but at least she’s safe and in an un-flooded undamaged house. And has cell phone service.

Thanks for all the kind thoughts.

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Waiting

My sister lives in Houston, and Hurricane Ike is approaching the Texas Gulf Coast. She doesn’t livein the A or B zones, the coastal and near-coastal areas which have been ordered to evacuate. But she is in Zone C. We’ve talked; she’s staying put in her house with all her pets and after most of her life in Houston knows how to deal with hurricanes. Last night she told me that all the stores are sold out of ice, and good luck trying to buy gas anywhere.

I’ve been watching the Weather Channel for too long today, and just checked online for status. With landfall still many hours away, the water is rising fast and seriously in Galveston and the coastal areas.

I’m worried but there’s nothing to do but wait and see. 

Thanks to technology I can look at live weathercams in my sister’s part of town, and I bet I don’t close that browser window much in the next day or so.  I also found this specific forecast for her zip code (the stuff that makes me gulp, I’ve bolded):

Rest of Today - Tropical storm conditions expected with hurricane conditions possible. Cloudy. Scattered showers and thunderstorms in the morning…then showers and thunderstorms likely in the afternoon. Highs around 90. Northeast winds 15 to 20 mph with gusts to around 35 mph in the morning increasing to 30 to 35 mph with gusts to around 70 mph in the afternoon. Chance of rain 40 percent in the morning increasing to 60 percent in the afternoon.

Tonight - Hurricane conditions expected. Showers and thunderstorms. Some thunderstorms may produce heavy rainfall. Lows in the upper 70s. Northeast winds 40 to 50 mph with gusts to around 80 mph in the evening increasing to 55 to 75 mph with gusts to around 90 mph after midnight. Chance of rain 90 percent in the evening increasing to near 100 percent after midnight.

Saturday  - Hurricane conditions expected. Showers and thunderstorms. Some thunderstorms may produce heavy rainfall. Highs in the mid 80s. Southwest winds 50 to 70 mph with gusts to around 90 mph in the morning decreasing to 30 to 35 mph with gusts to around 60 mph in the afternoon. Chance of rain near 100 percent.

Saturday Night - Showers and thunderstorms likely. Some thunderstorms may produce heavy rainfall. Breezy. Lows in the upper 70s. South winds 20 to 25 mph with gusts to around 30 mph. Chance of rain 60 percent.

And of course that doesn’t talk about possible flooding. Inevitable power outages. Cell phones may not work if towers are taken out of service by the storm.

I grew up there, and lived through a lot of hurricanes. Ike is a big big storm. I am worried.

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Who needs immigrants, we’re growing a great work force here at home

Just go read this over at Miss Kitty’s blog.

But don’t blame me if you then bang your head on your desk.

Anyway, I’ll be busy working on a new book, Great Expectorations. The narrative of a road trip across the South in search of the region’s best cuspidor collections.

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Red-lining the red ink

I am not (and never have been) teacher material. At least two generations of Americans have been spared years of awful classroom experiences because I figured that out when in college and didn’t even seriously consider getting a teaching credential.

And at that place and time, a young woman graduating with a BA in History was semi-expected to go into teaching if she wasn’t going to grad school or getting married. (To be fair, though, by the time I graduated, the getting married part didn’t stop us from making plans to work or go for another degree.)

I admire and respect good teachers, at all levels.  And I often read the blogs of some talented folks who teach college students. Today one of them – again – astounded me with a dispatch from the trenches:

The latest soul-crushing endeavor by our goblinesque administration — specifically, the newly-minted Ed.D:

We are no longer allowed to use red pens to correct papers, because students have an inherently negative reaction to red pen. In using red, we’re cutting off the lines of communication, because students shut down emotionally, and can’t see past all of the red to the truth of our commentary.

Red pen renders our constructive criticism in to plain, negative criticism.

Red is an ANGRY color, and we should never be angry with our students. Rather, we should be guiding them gently in to their impending adulthood with firm, polite correction — much as a gentle breeze puffs the small sailboat into safe harbor.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Cranky Prof goes on to write that until now she’s never paid that much attention to the color of ink she uses on papers, just using whatever she has. But now, well, read it for yourself.

I’m having nasty fun imagining the disciplinary memo that EdD would issue to profs who persist in using red ink. Snort, snicker, snort.

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A little time delay from YouTube

Hang Up and Drive

Note:  I tried to post this video clip to this blog at least two weeks ago, without success.  Tried more than once.  Nothing showed up.  This morning, much to my surprise, it showed up – in triplicate.

Here’s what I wrote at the time:  I looked at this book  - Brain Rules, by John Medina – while browsing in a book store yesterday. This morning I’ve ordered a copy from amazon.com. Not the Kindle version, because it doesn’t come with the DVD.

 

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The Descent of Man

Through my Kindle I’m discovering the International Herald Tribune. My trial subscription has convinced me to continue.  I enjoy reading it Monday through Saturday. I know the IHT is online too, where many articles can be read for free. But the point of the Kindle is that I read it when I’m not at the computer. 

The IHT often covers stories that the mainstream US media passes up, and presents points of view we don’t see here in The Magic Kingdom (I really do fear we are becoming a wholly-owned and cleverly managed subsidiary of the Disney Companies).  

My imagination is not captured by stories about privileged white guys cluttering up the environment by trying to scale the world’s highest mountains, so I read rather quickly this opinion piece about the latest bunch to kill themselves and others on K2. (If the link doesn’t work I’m reprinting it below the fold.) And then the next day or so, I read this letter to the editor which so sums up my feelings I just have to share it.

Drama on the Mountain

Regarding the article “The descent of man” by Maurice Isserman (Views, Aug. 11): When reading of yet another Himalayan mountaineering disaster my main feeling is one of irritation. Can’t these people try to push their personal boundaries doing something useful – like working for the Red Cross or Doctors Without Borders – rather than going on an ego-trip that endangers innocent people, pollutes the environment, distresses family and friends, and altogether wastes lots of money?

Josephine Bersee, Hong Kong

It’s not like these twits are discovering anything previously unknown to our society, or mapping the world, or participating in important research. Nope. They are just playing an expensive, dangerous, and destructive game. Another extreme sport, about as edifying as professional wrestling or those caged fights in arenas.

The opinion piece is here:

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Hoot

Over at bizzyville, Suzanne has a new puppy, Tallulah. An utterly adorable little ball of fur, of course.

This morning, the Other Dog in the house is heard from - here.  Just go read it.  You can thank me later, after you quit laughing.

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Not everybody’s feeling the love here

The town’s all abuzz, in one way or another:  the Democratic National Convention is coming to town next month. The City fathers and mothers have been gearing up for this for months now. And if their plans work out, I swear that each and every convention delegate will have his/her every step in Denver dogged by a passel of smiling volunteers who want to imprint on their altitude-impaired brain the mantra that “Denver is wonderful; I will spend a lot of money here and go home and tell everyone that Denver is wonderful and they need to come and spend all their money here” help them enjoy their stay.

Of course, there has been constant chatter about the Terrific Economic Benefits that will fall into the laps of all kinds of local businesses. Along with official assurances that downtown will not be essentially shut down by all the security arrangements that are, sadly, necessary for such an event in the 21st Century. Sure it won’t.

Then we have the constant media buzz starring pre-disgruntled pre-protesters who are pre-suing to be sure they get their First Amendment rights and of course all the attendant publicity which is part of their First Amendment rights. Just yesterday a bunch of self-proclaimed anarchists promised they would go away and not protest if Denver spent its $50 million federal grant for security for social programs which would be funny if not so utterly stupid but then the spokesguy for the anarchists got media attention which is the whole point isn’t it?

I don’t plan to leave town during convention week because of work and other commitments. The one potentially cool thing about all of it is that Barack Obama will give his acceptance speech not in the Pepsi Center where the convention will be held, but outdoors in our big fancy football stadium, on the anniversary of Dr. King’s “I Have a Dream” speech. Hope we don’t get one of those late summer evening thunderstorms although if it’s timed right it could actually add to the occasion.

Out at the Big Top for my volunteer stint last Sunday, I saw these T-shirts in a shop. I’m not exactly “allergic” to the uproar, but neither have I chugged the Chamber of Commerce Kool-aid about the event. I’m a somewhat interested observer who hopes to give the actual event – and the horrible traffic tie-ups it is going to cause – as wide a berth as I can under the circumstances.

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Nothing or everything

Tired and headed for bedtime, I just want to share this:

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

 

—– Albert Einstein

UPDATED to add:  This quote appears at the beginning of a novel I’m reading right now: Can’t Wait to Get to Heaven, by Fannie Flagg.  I’m enjoying it tremendously so far.  I’ve been keeping it at my desk downtown in a drawer for lunchtime reading.  But it’s turning out to be so good that I’ll probably abandon that rationing and bring it home with me tonight.

 

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Shakes, seeds and the pik

After 36 hours wearing them, I think that getting these braces may have been one of the worst decisions I ever made.

They hurt.  Although I can slap bits of wax on the worst poking bits for a little relief.  

And eating is pretty much unbearable.  Chewing with all those foreign objects attached to all my teeth?  Torture. 

Yesterday I was away from home all day.  At lunch I drank a smoothie because I couldn’t deal with the thought of eating.  By late afternoon I was starving.  Stopped by a favorite restaurant that makes great comfort food.  But all I could manage to consume – with difficulty – was a bit of soup and mashed potatoes.  Just had a tiny nibble of applesauce; boxed up the pot roast and brought it home. 

So I stopped by the grocery store and got things I can toss into the blender to keep body and soul together without chewing.  And also some instant oatmeal that looked nutritious. 

This morning I cooked up a bowlful of the oatmeal.  It’s OK, but I didn’t realize until I ate some, that it has little flax seeds in it.  Little seeds – and I have a mouthful of metal for them to hide in.

Thank goodness for my Water Pik.  I may never eat again unless I am at home and can immediately clean my braces afterwards with the Pik. 

I’ll be away from home all day today.  I’m taking two cold cans of SlimFast in a little cooler, and two straws.

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Never thought I’d live to see it

The pig-out queen here doesn’t want to eat.  Who would have thought?

I’m staring at my bowl of cereal and yogurt.  It’s cereal that I like, and yogurt that I like.  (I have cereal with yogurt instead of milk because my tummy likes that better.)

There’s nothing wrong with it.  I know that this modest breakfast will keep me going through a busy morning – and this one is going to be busier than usual.

But I don’t want to eat a bite of it.  I’ve just made myself eat some of it, and have to finish the last half because I’m going to have a really bad headache by lunchtime if I don’t eat it.

I’m not sick. 

I feel fine.

But I got a mouthful of metal braces yesterday.  And eating is a bloody nuisance.  Chewing stuff.  Feeling stuff getting stuck on the braces.  Having to clean my mouth within five minutes after eating anything.

It’s not just breakfast.  I had the same problem eating anything for dinner last night.

The whole business of eating with braces just sucks.

The doc said that these braces will be on for about six months. 

I could be really skinny by then.

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Smile

I used to hate it back in high school, when I would be walking down the hall between classes or something and somebody, usually a guy, would look at me and bark “Smile!” like it was an order or something.  Like maybe I wasn’t providing the proper high school background crowd scene for his damn day. 

Not that I mind smiling.  Not at all.  What I have always minded is doing stuff on command.  Personal stuff like smiling or reading a novel or eating vegetables. 

My smile hasn’t aged well, though I started off in life with fairly straight teeth.   I had all four of my wisdom teeth pulled when I was in my late 20′s - in one glorious intravenous-Valium buffered sitting.  This provided lots of room at the back of my mouth for all my teeth to hang out in.  But instead, the top ones in particular gradually crowded their way to the front, and that moved the front ones out of line in all directions. 

I KNOW already that I’m going to get old – if I’m lucky.  But I refuse to look like an elderly rabbit.  So 14 months ago I signed up for teeth-straightening with a local orthodontist.  Using the Invisalign system.  Which is a very interesting confluence of computer-assisted technology and orthodontic expertise. 

Sadly, a couple of my upper teeth aren’t moving with the rest of them, and after talking it over with my doc, I’m going to finish up the straightening in regular braces.  Yes, a semi-retired person in good old metal braces.  After cringing a little at that idea, I’ve gotten over myself.  I’m bloody pleased and grateful to have my own teeth, not to mention fully functioning limbs and major organs.

Today we got started on the braces.  The doc inserted rubber band thingies between some of my teeth to create space.  

Next week I get metal stuff glued to several of my teeth and the fun begins for real.  But only for six months or so, and it’s all paid for now.  So I’m smiling.

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Rosy Perfection Salad

I am NOT making this up. Wendy McClure has found some Weight Watchers recipe cards from the 1970′s and posted them here for our entertainment. Including Rosy Perfection Salad. I’ve just clicked through a few of these hummers. Totally strange-looking food.

EDITED to add the recipe, courtesy of Channel Guide:

Rosy Perfection Salad
1 Envelope Unflavored Gelatin
1-1/4 c Water
1/4 c Sugar
1/4 c Vinegar
1/2 t Salt (or to taste)
2 c Finely Shredded Red Cabbage
1 c Chopped Celery
1 jar mandarin oranges, drained and chopped

In medium saucepan, soften gelatin in 2 tablespoons of the water; let stand 1 minute. Add rest of water and, over low heat, cook until gelatin dissolves. Add sugar, vinegar and salt; stir until sugar dissolves. Chill until partially set. Fold in remaining ingredients and chill 3 hours or overnight. Note: With the single envelope of gelatin and the loads of veggies, I think Janet likely improved on this salad’s tastiness a bit but, from the image, lost the molded form (a blessing). Serve it at your next ’70s or Vintage Weight Watchers party.

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The JonBenet case redux – ugh

The media circus:  obscene.
The feeling it gives me:  unclean.
The “confessor:”  insane.
The pundits: inane
But they greedily rake in the green.

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Department of Letters Not Sent

Here’s a quite lovely Letter to My Dead Dog by Scheherazade over at Stay of Execution.

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College World Series, Game 8

Rice squeaked to a win last evening in Game 8 at the CWS in Omaha: Rice 3, Miami 2. I was home in time to see a little of the 7th and 8th innings on ESPN2, but I had to leave again before the end of the game.

Next game is Wednesday, 8 p.m. Central time, against either Miami or Oregon State.

There are some good entries about the CWS and about Rice’s baseball coach over at Houston’s Clear Thinkers – here and here.

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Baseball news

Game 3, June 17, 1:00 PM Central Time.Final score: Rice 6, Georgia 4.

Next: game 8, Monday, June 19 at 6:00 PM Central Time.

Rosenblatt Stadium in Omaha, Nebraska.

Go Owls!!

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