Dishing

I admit it. I waste a lot of time paying attention to semi-trash television. Not real trash: no Jerry Springer, Dr. Phil, ersatz “judge” shows. And I’ve never watched a single episode of those breeder shows like Jon & Kate plus 8 or those scary fundamentalists who go at it like rabbits and now have an army of like 19 kids in the house. No dating shows. And just about nothing on broadcast TV except local news and an occasional football game.

And as I write this, I’m realizing that my TV watching tastes aren’t even as bad as semi-trash. I watch true-forensics (not CSI fiction) documentaries, medical shows – I’m a fan of Dr. G – and historical documentaries. And of course, home repair and improvement shows on HGTV and the DIY network.

I have found that in order to keep up with serious faux reality trash TV, so as to be conversant with the American mainstream “news” media’s headlines? I only need half an hour a week. I watch The Dish on the Style network. New show every Saturday night, repeats all week long. A thirty-minute snarkfest, taking aim at the truly snarkworthy antics of celebs and wannabes. Including clips from shows that I’ve never heard of, which is actually a kind of blessing, they are so far down past the lowest common denominator that I suspect nobody involved can even read or write.

It was on the Dish this weekend that I saw the moment where that poor Heene kid threw up – twice – while his family was on-camera with Meredith Viera. And dad’s reaction was just total annoyance that this stupid kid was messing up his big moment on NBC, while his poor excuse for a mother tried to help the kid – without interrupting the interview.

And this is where I keep coming unstuck: They just kept rolling with the interview. Hello? This isn’t some drunk stranger barfing on your shoes at the ballgame. This is your child. He is vomiting.

What a pair of fame-obsessed media whores. As noted by a psychologist who’s treated hundreds of victims of “reality” TV shows, “This seems to be all the dad’s show . The family seems hostage to Daddy’s energy, which looks extraordinarily intense.”

Am I a little ashamed of watching The Dish?

Of course. But it’s a way to keep up to date on a certain sick segment of our fame-obsessed culture without actually having to watch things like Dallas Divas and Daughters myself. Or worse yet, watching the Today show. I mean, seriously? Except for the weather report, can you really tell the difference any more between Today and any other trash reality TV show?