An unsung writer of book jacket copy blew out some brain wiring over Rosie O’Donnell’s new book, Celebrity Detox. The jacket copy ends with a flourish:
Rosie O’Donnell illuminates not only what it’s like to be a celebrity, but also what it’s like to be a mother, a daughter, a leader, a friend, a sister, a wife…in short, a human being.
You know, isn’t it wonderful what these selfless celebrities will do for us poor clueless regular unfamous dregs of society? I mean, Rosie could be out walking her dogs or calling her hogs or otherwise living her exciting famous Hollywood star life. And instead she sat down at a computer and sweated out a WHOLE BOOK to tell us WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE A HUMAN BEING.
And I for one am damn grateful for this sacrifice. Just the other day I was wondering about this human being business. I mean, do I really know what it’s like to be one?
I could have been doing it ALL WRONG, for all these years. And never known.
So I checked this critically important and helpful book out of the library last night, so that at NO ADDITIONAL CHARGE (unless I keep it out too long and incur overdue fines) I can finally learn what it’s like to be a human being.
I’m sure I will want to take notes when I’m reading it.