Oh, Lord be praised! Thank Heaven for the Internet! Just click right over here to the Miracle of the Jesus Cheetoh – pictured at right, copied from that site.
Dorothy writes that she’s struggled for years being overweight, nothing has helped. Then:
last February, I found myself full of remorse as I pulled down yet another bag of Cheetohs. I said “Jesus, I know you want me to lose weight somehow. Please, Lord, give me a sign to help me find the courage to do what I need to. I’m so weak – HELP ME, JESUS!!”
And that’s when the Miracle happened. I opened the bag, full of guilt, and pulled out a Cheetoh, and THERE WAS LORD JESUS STARING ME IN THE FACE!!!
Here are some pictures of this Blessed Message. Praise Jesus, I have not eaten one Cheetoh since then.
Shoot, now maybe if I see something like this in my next bag of M&Ms, then I would never eat another M&M. And then I might have a hope in hell of shedding some of this lard I’m hauling around all over my body. . .
Although in my case, it was aliens. I mean as in outer space, not immigrants. I was like just minding my own business as always, and then one morning I woke up and got into the shower and looked down and OMIGOD! some alien creatures must have attacked me in the night and left me these thighs and this butt and, well, I won’t even talk about what they did to my boobs.
Anyway, I’d better buy several of those big bags of M&Ms next time I’m at Costco and examine them thoroughly so I can find my Jesus M&M.
HT to Suz (not me – another Suz; and pay attention, class, there will be a quiz later) over at BizBlog.
EDITED to add:
Overnight, it occurred to me that maybe finding my Jesus M&M would bring a miracle cure to this broken foot, which is such a burden. Maybe I should stop by Costco on my way to the orthopedic clinic this afternoon, grab some of those monster bags and start huntin’ for it.
